Chat

The teenage Brant brothers, in an actual conversation with Vanity Fair

  • Harry: From now on when people ask me what I ‘do’ I’m just gonna say icon.
  • Peter: It’s not like we’re Suri Cruise. She’s one of my idols.
  • Harry: And it’s all coming from her. She’s always got some ’do. I love her hair.
  • Peter: Clearly she’s just an awesome person. And she always has some, like, sassy frog slippers.
  • Harry: And, like, jammies in the restaurant.
  • Peter: Didn’t she have some ladybug boots? I was like, I need those.
  • Harry: I have them in gray.
Video

Watch this immediately. All of it. It’s six minutes of heaven. Literally. This is video footage from the shores of Heaven. Your jaw will drop. We don’t know how to explain it. It’s Norwegian. Whatever. Happy Friday. Hallelujah. Holy sh*t. (H/T Rusty.)

Quote
"Authorities say a 67-year-old rural Wisconsin man enraged over Bristol Palin’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’ routine blasted his television with a shotgun, leading to an overnight standoff with a SWAT team. A Dane County Sheriff’s detective says in court documents that Steven Cowan, of the town of Vermont, felt Palin was not a good dancer and was only on the show because of her famous mother."

— an Associated Press report from Madison, Wisconsin. If convicted, Cowan could get 10 years in prison. Now that’s a man with unflappable principles. (Or he’s just a man with bipolar disorder, as authorities are saying.)

Chat

The FBI's at the front door of the county executive's house, and only his wife is home...

  • Leslie Johnson: What do you want me to do with the check?
  • Jack Johnson: Tear up the check!
  • Leslie: They're saying "FBI," Jack. Do you want me to put it down the toilet?
  • Jack: Yes, flush that.
  • Leslie: What about the cash?
  • Jack: Put it in your underwear.
  • Leslie: I have it in my bra.